A List vs. C List Guests

When I first started planning my wedding, I had no idea where to begin. I knew where I wanted to get married – on the beach. But since it was sort of going to be a destination wedding, I knew we couldn’t invite EVERYONE. How many people should we invite? How do you shorten the list? I have known people who make “A” lists and “B” lists and then their “C” list, but I just couldn’t sit down and say “well that person just isn’t as important as this person but they are more important than that person…”, etc.etc. So, I used this rule of thumb…if I haven’t talked to you in 2 years and you aren’t family, then you aren’t invited.

I am in no way trying to sound uncaring, but when you have a budget, you have to stick to it. Of course, there will always be those relatives that you have to invite no matter what. The ones who used to pinch your cheeks when you were little or the one who always bought you the most outrageous Christmas presents (remember the pink bunny outfit from the Christmas Story?).
The point of your wedding day is that it is YOUR WEDDING DAY. What will make you happy without breaking the bank and also without causing hurt feelings? You may decide that you want to invite everyone you know or have ever known. On your wedding day you want to be surrounded by everyone in your family so they can all share in this beautiful day. If that is the case, you better start getting that budget in order.

Wedding Planning: The Budget

Most wedding planning publications state that the average cost of weddings is now at $28,000. Wow, that's how much some people pay in college tuition for four years, and the wedding falls on one day! Now that you have an idea of the type of wedding you want, you must find out how your wedding well be funded before you can start the planning process.

Some couples will pay for the wedding themselves or have help from parents or other family members. All parties involved in paying for the wedding need to sit down and talk to see how much each party can contribute to the wedding budget. Traditionally the bride’s family pays for most of the cost, but some family members may want to pick and choose what they pay for. Talk about the things that are important to you in planning your dream wedding. Try to come up with a round about figure on how much everyone can contribute. Try to be prepared for any unexpected cost such as reception site cleaning fees, unexpected guest added to the caterer’s fee, and dress pressing.

Here is a wedding budget planning list to help you get started:

WEDDING BUDGET PLANNING LIST


TO KEEP TRACK OF YOUR EXEPENSE CREATE AN EXPENSE SHEET WITH THE ITEMS BELOW AND INCLUDE THE ESTIMATED COST AND ACTUAL COST OF EACH ITEM.

CEREMONY
Site Fees
Clergy member
Marriage License
Musicians
Flowers, Candles, Decorations
Other

RECEPTION
Food / Caterer
Drinks
Rentals
Cake
Site Fees
Decorations
Accessories, Toasting Glasses,
Cake Knife, etc.

ATTIRE
Bride's Gown/Accessories
Bride's Hair/Nails
Bride's Attendants
Groom's Formal Wear
Groom's Attendants
Flower Girl
Ring Bearer

RINGS
His and her rings

FLOWERS
Ceremony
Bride's Bouquet
Maid of Honor Bouquet
Bridesmaid Bouquets
Corsages
Flower Girl
Grandparent's Flowers
Reception Centerpieces
Cake Table Flowers

MUSIC
Band / DJ
Sound System Rental

PHOTOGRAPHY
Photographer Fee
Videographer Fee
Albums
Additional Prints

STATIONERY
Invitations
Response Cards
Postage
Thank You Notes
Guest Book
Calligraphy

TRANSPORTATION
For Bride & Groom
For Wedding Party
For Guest (Shuttle)

GIFTS
Bridesmaid
Groomsmen
Parents
Guest

PARTIES
Engagement
Shower's
Bridesmaids'
Bachelor's
Rehearsal
Other

HONEYMOON
INSURANCE
WEDDING CONSULTANT

Wedding Planning: A Wedding to Remember

In the past two and a half years I have been to nine weddings, including my own. I’ve been to a wedding in the middle of the Smoky Mountains where the bride and groom said their vows in front of an amazing view of the mountains. A beautiful wedding, that took place in the courtyard of a 1799 Georgian Home.

There have been amazing weddings, absolutely entertaining weddings, uncomfortable wedding receptions; heart felt ceremonies, and simple affairs. Every time I go to a wedding I leave thinking “I loved this” about the wedding or “I would I have never have done that.”

What do you want people to remember about your wedding?
-The location of your wedding ceremony and reception.
-Special touches like writing your own vows.
-The music and entertainment.
-How beautiful the bride looks.
-The theme of the wedding with decorations and all.
-The great tasting food.
-Or any other unique details that are important to you.

Once you determine what elements are needed to plan your "wedding to remember", it then becomes easier to focus on what type of budget and resources you will need to pull your wedding off.

Wedding Planning: Where to Begin?

Congratulations on your engagement! Now what?

It is important to understand your priorities (and those of your fiancé).
What kind of setting do you envision yourself getting married in? Are you the Cinderella Bride, the Outdoorsy Bride, the Get Married at the Beach Bride, or the Las Vegas Chapel Bride? Formal, semiformal, religious, themed, intimate, outdoors, destination weddings; there are so many choices and you don't have to pick just one, you can incorporate many different styles or even let it evolve through the planning process.

How many guests do you want to invite and how much can you afford?
One of the hardest things to figure out is how many people to invite and who. There are the Bride's Friends, the Groom's Friends, the Bride's Family, the Groom's Family, the Bride's Co-workers, the Groom's Co-workers, etc. you get the point.

Coming up with and initial budget and a list of who can help pay for some or all of the wedding expenses will help in determining how many guest you can invite.

Be sure to sit down with your significant other to talk about the things that are important to you, and important to include in the wedding. Whether it is family traditions, religious traditions, including kids from a previous marriage in the wedding ceremony, avoid battling over it for the next few months by letting each other know what your priorities are. Wedding planning can be a bit stressful at times so make it easier on yourself.

This is part of a NEW weekly series that will be published each Wednesday.